Veggie Burritos

Here we will be making my favorite dish to take and leave in a fridge at work or at the hizzy. I eat them for lunch, I eat them when I'm bored, and I also eat them when some dumb bastard says he is hungry and doesn't have any food. Muwhahhah! This recipe produces a shit load of burritos. Usually anywhere from 15 to 18. You freezer will be bursting at the seams by the end of this. It usually takes about 15 minutes to make them and considering the vast amount of food it's pretty cheap.

2 16 oz cans of Black beans
1 16 oz can of Pinto beans
1 10 oz can of diced tomatoes
1 4 oz can of diced green chilies
1 14 oz can of corn
3 teaspoon (thats the little one) Chili powder
3 teaspoon (little one) Cumin
3 teaspoon (little again) Oregano
2 packages of 10" tortillas (about 20 total)
1 cup uncooked brown rice
1 lb shredded cheese of your choice (I used mozzarella this time)
and some plastic wrap for freezing your burritos

Cascade dish detergent and other assorted items pictured are optional

Start by draining and rinsing all your beans and corn as seen below.

Dirty black beans


Clean black beans

After you rinse your beans and corn, throw them in a mixing bowl and... Wait a minute...

FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!

My mixing bowl is still dirty@!#$ Guess i'll have to put it in the washer and.... wait a minute...

FUUUUUCCCCKKKK!

The dishwasher is full@!#$



-----Fast-Forward-----

Ok, the dishes are clean and now I have all 3 cans of beans drained and rinsed as well as the corns.

Now take that pound of shredded cheese and sprinkle a small amount into the mixture...


Nah just kidding, dump that shit in there

Now lets get our spices in there. Put all 3 teaspoons of everything right on top there. My cumin and chili powder was almost empty so i just put the whole bottle in there. The oregano is holding true at 3 teaspoons however.

Ok now pour the cooked rice in there.... wit a minute...
FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!

We forgot to cook the rice.
Quickly cook your rice in ten minutes immediately.

Ok, we have the rice added. Mix it up now. I'm not a culinary professional by any means, but I've heard people say "Don't mix too much." So don't do that.



You should come out with something like this. Now get ready because if this is your first time rolling a burrito you will fail. It will be loose and floppy and disgusting and horrible. You will want to hit yourself with the burrito probably, but it will be too weak and floppy.



Get your tortillas, then spoon out about a cup of the mixture and put it towards the bottom of the tortilla. It might look like a lot but, we're not making fucking cupcakes here. So trust me. She'll hold captain. She'll hold.


Now fold both sides to the middle and the roll from the bottom to the top. You'll have to tuck in the sides again when you get about halfway, otherwise shit will start falling out the sides and you'll be devastated as I mentioned before. I think tucking in the sides is truly the key to rolling a burrito. That and rolling it tight. Tight and tucked.

1 down....

10 down...

look!

burritos just a'bustin out!

This batch made 18 burritos using 1 cup of filling per burrito (I actually measured). The burritos are better after they've been frozen and heated, and a fully frozen burrito tastes badass after about 2 or 3 mins in the microwave. If one isn't filling enough, then eat two. There's 18 of them for gods sake.

The recipe usually takes 15 to 20 minutes, but today's fiasco took about 2 hours. I've used any combination of black, pinto, and red kidney beans. I've also used various shredded cheeses and no cheese at all. I suggest cheese. I've always used oregano, chili powder, and cumin. I've dabbled with different amounts, but to be honest, the more the better. I tried cilantro and wasn't too impressed. I've frozen them for up to 2 weeks and they come out perfect every time.